I Was Going To Blog About My New Recording...

... but this came in, and I just couldn't help myself.

People ask what a "do-me" submissive is. Friends, I bring you: Random Messenger.

Friday night on the way somewhere with my Jukebox, I got this series of IMs.

(10:51:16 PM) Random Messenger: hi queen

(10:51:44 PM) ladyruetha: Can't really talk right now, sweetie... but went ahead and added. :)

(10:52:14 PM) Random Messenger: why cant you talk?

(10:52:30 PM) ladyruetha: I'm a bit busy. :) 

(10:53:13 PM) Random Messenger: with phone sex calls eh?

(10:53:56 PM) Random Messenger: i saw your profile on (Website Redacted).......

(10:54:15 PM) Random Messenger: all women on there have their own websites, and most have "phone sex" listings with Niteflirt as well........thats why i ask

(11:00:46 PM) ladyruetha: Actually, not tonight... but perhaps soon.

(11:01:13 PM) Random Messenger: well count me out

(11:01:27 PM) Random Messenger: i'm definitely not into paying 2 bucks a minute to talk to someone..lol

(11:01:28 PM) Random Messenger: no offense

(11:06:31 PM) Random Messenger: but i would like very much to be hypnotized by you

(11:06:36 PM) Random Messenger: let me put my cam on for you..hang on

(11:07:26 PM) ladyruetha: I don't use cam.

(11:07:32 PM) ladyruetha: And I did say I'm busy?

(11:10:23 PM) Random Messenger: well i'm sorry, but your going to need to get a cam,

(11:10:32 PM) Random Messenger: and unfortunately, i must insist you ignore the other "loser" and talk to me

(11:12:40 PM) ladyruetha: The other "loser" is in the room with me and giggling like a loon right now. Maybe he'll write someone like you into one of his stories.

(11:13:55 PM) Random Messenger: well the only reason he is there, and i'm not........is because you dont "know me" :)

(11:14:32 PM) Random Messenger: he is a pathetic loser, and i  am twice the man he will ever be........furthermore, you would "pick" me over that pathetic worm of a man i guarentee.....its just that you dont "know me"

(11:15:15 PM) Random Messenger: he is the lowest form of a weak, pathetic, helpless male i have ever come across........he is more pathetic than a puppy dog

(11:15:23 PM) ladyruetha: LOLOLOLOL -Do tell.

(11:16:13 PM) Random Messenger: tell me, when you see him naked, do you "laugh" at how small of a penis he has? does it remind you of a "vienna sausage"?

(11:16:58 PM) ladyruetha: Hee. You are so very funny. I have to go, but do feel free to keep talking. I'll read it tomorrow.

(11:18:29 PM) Random Messenger: ok sweety, talk to you then

 Tomorrow, I will break this down and explain what he did wrong for those who don't get it. Today, I just want to let this stand as it is... a monument to "HAHAHAHAHAHANO."

Helping My Chosen Succeed

I love giving my Chosen assignments and then doing little things to help them. Not the actual work, mind, but just some... like assigning one to start a blog on his favorite TV show and then DVRing episodes so that he can watch while he visits, perhaps seeing new episodes and building up a backlog for the fallow times.

It's a happy.

Fallow Times Happen...

It feels like I'm waiting on a lot right now. Waiting on holding some of my Chosen again. Waiting to find the words to describe NEEHU2's Saturday, Sunday, and Monday... especially the collaring ceremony. Waiting on my Dommespace.

Domme/sub energy is like all energy: It ebbs and flows and swirls. Sometimes it's so powerfully strong that it feels like primal fire. Sometimes it's so far receded that the rocky and sandy bottoms of life are painfully visible.

At NEEHU2 I could feel it so very powerfully, and since then the tide has mostly been in. This week and weekend I see the seabed grasses, despite the waters being wind-whipped into froth.

It is almost Dark Moon, and I feel the urge to curl into myself. I have never been one who finds true power in darkness. I find it in light and illumination and revelation. And so I curl into myself, and I wait for the words to flow again.

They will. Ebb and flow and swirl and change itself is the one constant. I silence myself and wait for their return.

NEEHU Thoughts and Memories, Part Two

Once again, a reminder that these are memories and impressions that may not seem to make sense to people used to following things as a blow-by-blow description, but they're My thoughts and memories and this feels right.

Friday morning, waking between my loves, asking Copper, "Did you sleep?" and being relieved to hear him say, "Yes." He does not always sleep easily in strange places. Didn't ask Jukebox that--I knew the answer. Hearing the sounds of Glacilux and Lyinar going out of the room to get breakfast, and I know it's time for me to get my shower. But the Mythbusters couldn't drag Me out of bed between My consorts with a C4 explosion.

Eventually, we all have to get up and get ready to go to the con hotel. I am the last one out of bed. The shower feels wonderful. Lyinar does not feel so happy, as he realizes that he is the "shuttle" taking us between hotels (after driving sixteen hours the previous day.) Copper and Lyinar and I are the first to go over, and we check in. Copper and I go up to a room that can only be described as "sumptuous". After a moment of wandering around, exclaiming, I realize that this might be My last time alone with him all weekend. I have never been good at resisting temptation, and at this moment I throw Myself into it headfirst. Funny, those moans didn't sound like they were complaints.

Others arrive, and it is time to pick up Twinklie at the airport. Lyinar, Sleepykitten and I make the drive. She is travel-stressed and ravenous; the first duty of a Dominant is to ensure the well-being of a submissive. We take care of her hunger, and immediately her mood perks up.

Back at the hotel room, I try on various wonderful lingerie, gifts from My Wish List and from pets and admirers. Jukebox once again falls victim to My hypnotic breasts. Oh darn. Funny, those sighs didn't sound like complaints. (Mental note: Must remember to get more lingerie that shows My breasts. I am more used to boy-shorts than g-strings and I think that I will go back to them in the future, but some of the lingerie was really nice. It felt good on My skin.) I feel Myself sliding more and more into Dommespace, and it feels wonderful.

I know I'm forgetting things from in here, but My memories are all sense, and so I find it hard to explain the swirling dance of sense-memories that I experience when I try to put it into words. There is Lyinar, finally getting to rest his swollen legs after obeying Me so well, shuttling people from one hotel to the other. There is Reth expounding on the glories of techno music (yet again.) There is Glacilux moving around the kitchen with glorious surety, not My pet but a treasured friend. There is Twinklie shedding the travel-weariness and being admired by every eye. There is Sleepykitten being petted. There are cheesy forensic shows on the television. There is the touch of Copper, and of Sleepyhead, and up close as I hug them, the unique, familiar and intoxicating sense of My loves. There is Jukebox, typing on the computer as always, because he can no more stop writing than stop breathing, even if it is only to comment on a blog post somewhere. And all of this is mixing, combining, rich and full and full of life.

And then it is time to go to the Society. We go downstairs and Sleepyhead and I get a ride with a kind gentleman and his lady (who I soon find that I have known for years on the MC Forums.) Along the way, I call Wiseguy and find that he and Dani are there, having dinner with a mutual dear friend and will be at the Society as soon as they can. The Society is a wonderful place, and if you are in New England, I urge you to take advantage of its hospitality. It is clean, appropriately lit, and comfortable. If I was in Connecticut, I would have immediately bought a membership. As it is, I am considering ways to support them long-distance, because a place such as the Society is a community treasure.

After signing in, I find Myself already giving hugs. Before long, it becomes clear to Me that this really is like a party with one hundred of My favorite people in the world. At My wedding in "real life", I did not have as many people that I was genuinely and thoroughly happy to see. Old friends, and those I had never previously met, were everywhere. I hypnotized Sleepykitten and sent her to enjoy her role as a hypnotized servant girl. One of the delights of the evening is whispering, "Deeper and deeper," to her every time I see her and watching her trance deeper. In her kitty ears and her play collar, she looks adorable. (We need to find her an appropriate tail.)

And then Vassal is there, and I hug him and run My fingers through his curls, so happy to see him. He also will be staying with us. If the room at the hotel was a sensationary swirl, this is a tidal wave. Electric candles, chocolate on every table, delicious food, laughter and conversation, colors, and the warmth of camaraderie and hugs, skin and fabric. I introduce the stage show, and I expect to go up on stage...but there are so many good subjects to go up that instead I watch. Copper is by My side and I wonder how he is doing, as in North MOFN, there are never this many people in one place, and no more than ten times this many people in the entire town.

The stage show is funny and respectful. I know almost everyone on stage, and I delight in their creativity and hypnotizability. Then the "Hypnosis Slam" starts, when people can just get up in front of the crowd and show off their abilities as either a subject or a hypnotist. I am quickly tranced by Wiseguy, turned around and given a post-hypnotic to hug a beautiful (and willing) friend and that I will be stuck to her. Oh darn. Funny, those giggles don't sound like complaints from Me. As it happens, because I am short, I am at exactly the right height to appreciate her corset. Did I mention "Oh darn"?

It is going to be an early morning, and a long day the next day. I go back to the hotel earlier than I would have liked, but bloodshot eyes are less hypnotic than well-rested ones. Once again, I drift to sleep between My loves, in bliss.

May is Inappropriate Behavior Awareness Month

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How To Attract A HypnoDomme: Part Two: Before You Go Looking

So after being absolutely levelled by the flu last week, I'm getting back to writing. Here's the next installment in the series.

I was going to make this "That Vital First Impression," but as the week went by I realized that's not the first step. The first step is not about meeting, but about the groundwork that needs to be done before you even go out and look. And the first step in that for a submissive is beginning to understand your own needs and wants.

Many submissives forget that their own needs and wants have value. After all, as I tell people, "It's all about me," meaning me-as-Domme. And it is. On the other hand, if I'm not going to meet the submissive's needs, then the relationship is going to go nowhere very quickly. That sucks for all concerned. It's a lot more fun to deal with a submissive who knows what zie wants than to deal with one who has no idea.

That doesn't mean you have to know all of what you want, or reveal it right away. Sometimes it can be fun to be in deep hypnosis and hear yourself confessing your deepest wants to the warm voice that soothes your mind. But if you want that scenario, you already have one thing to say: "I like to feel like my needs are being pulled out of me and I can't stop it." Boom, you have a desire you can express!

Before you start a search for a Domme, sit down and think about your wants and needs. It helps if you write them down. Be honest with yourself, and sometimes it helps if you put things on a scale of one to ten in order of how important they are to you.

Are looks important to you? For some people, they're critical. If that's the case, be up front with yourself. You don't want to meet a Domme and discover she does nothing for you sexually, after all. Do you want a certain type of appearance? Build? Clothing? If so, are those things in and of themselves fetishes for you?

How about voice? Ability to meet up with your Domme in person? Knowing you will never be required to meet in person? (That might be important for married folk who wish to be secret about the affair.) Do you want your Domme to have other skills than hypnosis (bondage, sensory play, et cetera)? Do you expect to be monogamous, or are other partners OK? How about playing with others for Her pleasure? Make sure you know your boundaries!

Are you willing to pay for what you want, or do you want a lifestyle-only relationship? How much time do you want to spend submitting? (It's absolutely OK to want a non-24/7 relationship. Those are not the be-all and end-all of submission.)

This is only a partial list of things you may want to consider. Decide how important each is for you (for example, looks are not important, but you aren't going to pay for anything and you want to have a part-time D/s relationship while you look for other life partners). Remember that these wants and desires are fluid! You will find them changing throughout your time submitting. (When I first met Jukebox, for instance, public shirt-off was a limit. He's now very happy fully nude when permitted at cons!)

Next, come up with an introduction. This should be a few lines about yourself that you can readily give when you contact a Domme. We'll talk a bit more about this in the next installment, but think carefully about what you want to say. It should include important things for her to know right off about you. An example might be: "Hello... my name is [name], I'm a [age] [gender] who is looking for a hypnotic Domme while I explore submission. I'm [marital status], looking for a [full/part/very casual]-time relationship and I am/not willing to pay for time. Some of my interests are [insert here], some of my non-sexual hobbies are [insert here]. Would you be interested in talking further?"

Knowing yourself and your wants and needs can save you and your Dominant partner a lot of time, headaches, and maybe even heartache. Do this step. You'll be glad you did.

How To Attract A HypnoDomme: Part One - Why This Series?

I saw a post on a hypnosis website and it made me pause. It was similar to one I've seen a hundred times before, probably more than that, which is why I don't name the site or the poster. It was similar to any number of instant messages and private mails I've received on various sites. It made me sigh, because I worry that its writer will never find what zie seeks in the world of erotic hypnosis. I've seen it in regular D/s groups too, but since I do EH I'm going to confine myself to commenting on this aspect alone.

The post was by a male, and it said simply "Seeking Female hypnotist to program me to be a slave."

A Domme had responded in a way I myself have so many times. She was polite and concise. She simply asked "What do you have to offer a Domme?"

This is a legitimate question. Whether it's fair or not, the fact is that there are more cis het males seeking hypnosis on either side of the watch than cis het (and MANY more than cis bi!) women to partner them. If you completely exclude trans women as viable partners, as many of these men do, the pool gets smaller still. If I had one hundred hours in the day, I still couldn't hypnotize everyone I wish I could. I can deplore the reality of it all day long, but it is how it is. (I do my best to change it by being open to females who are interested and encouraging them, but at the end of the day the imbalance remains.)

The original poster responded to the Domme with the following sentence, verbatim: "ill surrender completely and be ur slave"

That's it. Nothing else. And it made me depressed for him, because I don't think he gets it.

Although I am a pro, I am going to take money and professional Dommes out of the equation in this series of posts. I can still easily speak to the lifestyle aspect of things, as my Chosen and pets know. But of the lifestyle-only Dommes I know, none of them would be really interested in this guy. I'm sure he has no idea what he's doing wrong. I also bet that he COULD be trained, with time, to at least be a passable sub.

I've said repeatedly that one of my goals in the fetish is to help people find partners when possible. I stick by that. To that end, I'm going to post a series of blog entries on my opinion of how to attract a hypnoDomme.

It should be emphasized that these posts are my opinion, and I welcome polite comments, additions, and dissent! Some things which I view as critical are far less important to others. Nevertheless, there are certain patterns which do tend to obstruct people in finding partners. I want to address these.

It should also be said that while some of these tips and recommendations will apply also to finding male Doms, others will not.

I write from the cis woman perspective. I especially welcome feedback by trans women.

We'll start with tomorrow's post: The First Impression.

Posted by Permission: Isis the Enchantress's "To Losers"

I usually don't crosspost, but I thought this needed to be seen by some who perhaps might otherwise miss it. It's by Isis the Enchantress, and it's located over here. I'm reproducing it in full, with her permission, so that others could read and comment.

Today I saw the umpteenth "mean queen" talking about the ****ing losers that serve her. If you think you're a loser, then maybe she was talking to you.

She was attractive, but she was needy, greedy, bitchy. Ok, I know, that is probably turning you on, and you are wondering who the person is.

Logically one may wonder why you let women like this have your time, your attention, your hard earned money and "respect."

Even if you consider yourself a loser, why wouldn't you want someone to appreciate the things you do for them, instead of expect them, and then proceed to forget it because the next "sucker" has arrived. Why would you only want to be remembered when the person who demands from you seeks to more money and more attention?

Consider what it would be like to have attention that is kind and appreciative. I know it's likely unusual for you, and I know of many who like the idea, but just don't know how it could ever feel as good as being treated like s***.

You know why it feels so good for you?

It's likely somewhere along the lines your mind made an unconscious connection between things that don't necessarily belong together.

It could be a pretty girl who taunted you, and when she did it humiliated you, and because she was so pretty you were turned on at the time so you tied arousal to humiliation by a pretty girl.

You then probably tried to find opportunities to have pretty girls do it to you again. Each time it happened, it reinforced your "need" to be treated in the way that the original girl treated you. Along the way, you may have found new girls added to the mix, so your mind may have latched onto to those things as well.

Maybe you even got into a relationship with a pretty girl who treated you that way, and demanded you spend money on her.

Each thing finds its way into our mind through layers of connections, and they become what we think are "needs." You may have even found yourself paying for the opportunity to be humiliated if no real life opportunities were available.

I don't know too many people who wouldn't prefer to be treated kindly and with respect, however I know way too many who don't know how to find their way out of what they know to cause pleasure.

You don't have to allow people to treat you this way, AND you can find greater pleasure in being treated well and in being appreciated.

Hypnosis is good at so many things, including creating and resolving perceived problems. There is an author who wrote how he believed that all hypnosis was a way to dehypnotize someone from previous hypnosis.

Never been formally hypnotized? It doesn't matter. Anyone who knows how to manipulate others is likely proficient in a form of hypnosis whether s/he realizes it, or not.

Some will tell you that to be the best man you can be it's best to see yourself as insignificant, small, unworthy and at the same time needing to prove yourself in some way worthy of time and attention.

Personally, I don't see how interacting with someone who thinks so little of himself serves me or anyone else. I would say it is in my best interest to have someone who wants to be attentive to me be the best of who he can be - for himself and those around him.

I see too much encouragement from women like the one above to have the men they interact with disregard and disrespect the women in their lives. I know some would say they could never understand it, or do it, but what these people don't realize is how the person affected could even been torn, and still do things potentially hurtful and/or harmful to a relationship.

What is going on is likely to be something that someone affected doesn't understand either, because it comes from the unconscious connections. I realize that some things are choices, and there are some I certainly wouldn't agree with, but when you are doing things compulsively and can't stop, then it might be something to reconsider - especially if there is a part of you that isn't OK or happy about what is going on.

Some people will say "It's just me. It's just how I am." Because your behavior is not who you are, that statement is inaccurate. However since it is a common belief and statement, it is often "accepted."

Most people are much more than they know themselves to be. Many have no idea who and what they are capable of because things get in the way. Something so core to who we are - such as sexuality - can create a big diversion and/or stumbling block.

The thing is, though, deep down we know better. Deep down we seek better. Deep down we know there has got to be a better way, and we choose to listen, or we don't.

When one listens, one also needs to recognize what they have done previously, and it isn't
always easy and can sometimes be painful and there can be guilt, remorse, anger and other things that continuing the behavior continues to cover up.

I can't say a change is going to happen easily or effortlessly, but what I can say is that you need to be kind to yourself in the process. Things happen all of the time, and that includes things we'd rather not experience, however if we come to those situations with the a mindset that allows us to learn and grow from the experience the best things can happen as a result, and they're not often things we'd anticipate.

If you consider yourself a loser, and that is how you want to continue to act, far be
it from me to convince you to do anything any differently.

However, if there is a part of you that thinks that you deserve better (which, personally, I say you do) then it might be worth seeing what can be done to give you the pleasure you desire without wreaking havoc on your life and the relationships that you hold most dear - including the one you have with yourself.

Arguments can be made for anything by anyone at any time. Be careful which ones you buy into. They're not all worthy of your efforts and attention, and likely very few are.

A last thought...

If you are belittled and worn down, what is left of you to give? In the end, I suspect that is at the core of what we as humans want to do...we want to give another a piece of ourselves so that we can feel like we belong and that we are wanted and needed by someone else and if we don't know that we can get attention in a positive, affirming way we'll get it in a destructive one. If you're off self destructing you're not going to see the things that are helpful and supportive and loving - but they are there.

Thank you, Isis, for our generous consent to repost this. I have a couple of additional thoughts.

First of all, I didn't understand humiliation at all until last year. At that point, someone who did enjoy it was able to explain it to me. (Thank you, sweetie, you know who you are!) And what I got out of it is: BDSM is a way to experience the human condition in ways we might not normally be able to do so, in a safe space. Humiliation is part of the human condition, and is therefore one of the things that some people choose to explore in that safe space. And I'm very OK with that, although it doesn't turn me on at all and isn't a part of my play.

The most important thing, though, is that my Chosen, my pets, my friends, and my clients are very much winners to me. They're out there having fun, enjoying their sexuality in ways that feel good to them. I am happy to be able to join them, and I am proud of my kink. I understand needing to be closeted, though I deplore the reasons, but that doesn't make anyone who needs to be a loser. Nor does paying for my services, for goodness' sake.

None of the people around me are ever going to be losers. No, my clients, friends and loved ones - WE win!

A couple of blog posts that made me happy.

Because there's more going on in the hypnokink world than remodelling my/Jukebox's house and my CDs and mp3s, hard as my brain has to work to accept that at the moment...


This is a neat thread about some people exploring hypnokink together. She's experienced in D/s, he isn't, but they're finding their way. I look forward to seeing and hearing more from them. New hypnokink relationships always make me feel so warmfuzzy.

Next, in the general D/s sense but so very very applicable to hypnokink, comes this post from MD in 617, a blogger I intend to start following. He's not into hypnosis as far as I can tell, but he IS into making sense. The post is about making yourself attractive to others online, whatever your particular fetish or weirdness might be. I wish this post was required reading for anyone new to the online kink scene.

Finally but not least thought-provoking comes this lovely post from thrall on self-acceptance. I honestly cannot wait to have free time to talk to thrall more and miss her very much, but her blog kinda keeps me going. When I finally get a few minutes free to read the other day, this post almost made me cry. It's beautiful. Give it a read.

More standard blogging later today, I hope!

Room trance, Saturday at FFF

OK, I did all right with the blogging but not great. Part of that was that Saturday was absolutely fantastic.

I had a private session with someone I've wanted to play with in person for years. I don't have permission to disclose any details, but I will say: Mmmmm. :) Just Mmmmm. Thank you, sweetie, for letting me play with your head. You know who you are.

It was right about the end of that session that I realized I didn't have my ID, passport, or credit cards in the room. The long and the short of it is that these things are gone, and I need to get them replaced ASAP.

But even that couldn't dampen my weekend, because things were fantastic. I'd been wearing a purplish blue flowy dress I love, but decided for the room trance I needed to "pop." It was the work of a moment to choose to wear my long, flowy red dress. Also bare feet, because I am pagan enough to like the feel of something under them that isn't sock or sole.

This room trance was a first for me. I have done "room trances" in chatrooms, of course, dozens of times. I've put all of my pets into trance, even sensual trance, at the same time frequently. I've also done large hypnotic sessions at other cons - family-friendly cons. Nothing where I would not only be welcome, but expected to bring in the erotic component.

We got to the room and discovered that the room we'd been given was, well, small. About half again the size of a normal hotel bedroom. They had lined up two lines of chairs across the back, there was a couch to one side, some easy chairs to the other, and that was just about it for seating. People were already sitting on the floor a couple of rows deep, and more were congregating in the entranceway. Mephki and DrSlashBlight (who, seriously, needs to consider a new username. Something like "BigCuteSoftyHypnoDom" or something) gave me an intro which turned me the same color as my dress, and we were off.

There's something exhilarating about trance. There's more to group trance, and holy cow erotic group trance is way up there. Hearing seventy-five percent of the people in the room gasp at a sensual trigger is *awesome.* (The other twenty-five percent? Nonparticipants/watchers and those who elected not to participate in that part... as I had told them it was optional.) As things moved on, gasps moved to moans and whimpers, also really hot. There were a few people curled up on other people there, and that was cool beyond words.

Copper was really out, and at one point I looked over and Mephki was braiding his hair! Too sweet, and knowing he was taken care of let me focus all the more on the rest of the room. And when I generalized out the sensual trigger to the Dominants of those submissives who had it... well. There were a few people grabbing the wall and gasping when I left the room, is all I'm saying. :)

Halfway through I had to bring everyone up for a stretch break, due to the crowded space. Some people had been looking seriously uncomfortable, and this relieved that. Enough people went ahead and left at that point to space out the floor a bit. Despite this, I only had about a five-foot space to walk around in.

I want to do it again! In a larger room!

Then the second night of room party... but that's another post.

Con and Consent

I have a big, philosphical post coming up about some things that got brought up on Twitter, and as I write the printer is churning out CD labels and cover art! But first, some more stuff from Dragon*Con.

One of the most entertaining things about going to events - whether on the scale of Dragon*Con or not - is meeting new people who are interested in hypnosis but uncertain about it. One of the downsides of Dragon*con in specific is a specific cosplayer. There's no point in naming her or her character. The locals all know who she is and are already nodding. Everyone else can just take our word for it, seriously... she really takes character a bit too far. Bear in mind that this is coming from a woman who thinks that roleplay within hypnosis is one of the most entertaining and even fulfilling things one can do with it recreationally.

One of the points I make repeatedly when speaking about hypnotic roleplay is that scenes need to have a firmly defined beginning and ending. Another is the use of safewords to make sure that every scene is consensual. This becomes even more important when dealing with people who may not be involved with or aware that roleplay is taking place - and that applies to all roleplay, whether hypnotic or not. Billions of electrons have been used to make posts on this topic when it comes to LARPs (live-action roleplays), and there's a lot of discussion in the D/s community about public play and whether it is safe, sane, and consensual if people unaware of the scene are involved.

Into this comes this cosplayer. She comes to the panel which is essentially a Hypno 101 panel, meant to dispel myths and falsehoods about hypnosis for a general audience. Right off the bat, she starts in on the panelists about her vulnerability to hypnosis and how it affects her crimefighting superpowers. She was shut down pretty darn quickly, but when one of the panelists asked the assembled group to close their eyes and take a deep breath, she promptly went into trance and stayed there for the whole rest of the panel. Everyone else in the room understood this to be a demonstration of how trance sometimes feels so normal because we experience it so much. She just stayed that way. (The guy with her, who I assume is either her boyfriend or her caretaker, asked some good questions and contributed a lot.)

Now, as a Domme I'm very used to people IMing me and promptly talking about how my words are putting them into hypnosis. I ask if they've ever listened to my word, even my free stuff. No. Have I ever talked to them under another ID? No. I'm a HypnoDomme, and so therefore every word I say is by definition hypnotic. While there are some people who are probably that easy, for the vast majority of these people I'm really a sentient sex toy. They want to go into hypnosis, therefore they're going to do it... whether I take any real action or not. Most of the time, this is amusing. Sometimes, it's annoying. I know very well people like this are not going to contribute to my well-being in any meaningful way, be it by buying session time, buying CDs, or even admitting "I'm broke, let's just be friends and talk." I'm a masturbatory object, and I really wish they'd just whack off and go away. I did not consent to hypnotizing them, therefore it's not really D/s.

(Note this is not applicable to the whole giant class of people who approach me for honest conversation and friendship. Bless you. You keep right on messaging!)

The people at the panel, panelists and audience alike, did not consent to be in on this woman's roleplay. They did not consent to her game. Watching the audience's reaction, it became clear that most of them considered her at best clueless, most likely rude, and at worst actually possibly mentally ill. It was also evident, given that she chose to sit in the front row right on the aisle ("front and center"), that she was coming in with the intention of being noticed.

I don't know whether the cosplayer enjoyed her "fun." What fun there may have been, though, was at the expense of other people who didn't ask or give their OK to be props in her game or even just bystanders. My friends, that just isn't cool at all. Please, when you roleplay or cosplay, consider the people around you. That panel room emptied a lot faster than it normally did, and people didn't get to ask questions of one of the panelists because of this. As I left, a total stranger was commenting on how creepy the woman in the front row had been. That's just sad.

In a D/s situation, whether you practice RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink) or SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual), the word consensual is in there. Please apply consent, not simply or only to your partners, but to others who might be involved - whether it's D/s or not.

A couple of notable blog posts...

First of all, this one from thrall talking about Initialization. I'm really glad she enjoyed it. She's one of the great lights of the robokink crowd, and her opinion means a lot. (Plus it means I can get off on having her echo the Directives, and that's worth even more, IMNSHO.)

Furthermore, she also touches on 1.02 - Antivirus, 1.03 - Skins, 1.04 - Activation, and the optional but fun 1.05 - Security Backdoor. Yes, I know there'll be at least that many CDs in the Robotization thread. There'll probably be more, but those are the ones I definitely plan. Ideas are always welcome!

Second, this post from Sex Geek. Sex Geek always challenges me to think more and differently about WIITWD, and I really like the advice threads. The part of the post I most enjoyed was SG's advice to the 54-year-old submissive man.

I have always felt that sex is great, but for many people the submission is rewarding in and of itself. I've been blessed to have several of those people as playthings and pets over time. I agree one hundred percent with her advice to the letter writer. I would be more than happy to take on a service toy of either gender without any expectation of sexual obligation. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love having my Chosen mindlessly coming all over the place, but if there was a curious submissive of either gender or in between who was interested in experiencing hypnosubmission without sexuality involved, I'd happily take hir on.

I sincerely hope the letter writer finds someOne for him. Service-interested Dominants are definitely out there!