It seems to blow some peoples' minds that I am a Domme who loves giving things. No one notices anything out of place in a Domme who gets things, of course; the fact that I am typing this on an iPad that was a gift from a potential submissive seems absolutely natural. (And it is, for what that's worth. That's our dynamic.) Some people just don't get the equally natural joy that I experience when I give something. I'm going to try to explain.
The first thing to understand is that what I love to give are things I make. It's not fun for me to go buy something for someone. I want to create. I love, need, to make things. It's part of being who I am. Learning a new skill or perfecting an existing one is a high-reward thing for me. (And my Chosen are shameless aiders and abettors, bless each of them!)
The next thing is that I don't need all the things I make. I don't create at a high enough volume to sell, but really. How many scarves do I need? Sweaters? Teeny TARDISes and K-9s? Therenis such a thing as making something I'll never use for the sheer joy of the process, and then not needing it.
So what do I do with these things? That's right. I gift them. I love the rush that comes from presenting; I love the joy that someone experiences. And yes, these feelings are magnified if the recipient is a submissive. Even if that submissive isn't mine.
So yes, send me presents! I love them. But don't be surprised if eventually you get something handmade. Because this Domme loves giving.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Monday, November 26, 2012
Video Camera! And NEEHU 2012!
Tonight i took the first steps toward bringing back a more definitive online presence: I bought a video camera. This allows me to do so many things i couldn't before.
High on the list is videos for my own enjoyment, videos of my Chosen in trance. I would imagine that few of these will ever be seen by anyone but me. I look forward to them, though.
And then there are other reasons... ;)
High on the list is videos for my own enjoyment, videos of my Chosen in trance. I would imagine that few of these will ever be seen by anyone but me. I look forward to them, though.
And then there are other reasons... ;)
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Times of Dawning
Times of Dawning
Every so often in life, I find the choices I made do not reflect the me I wish to be: healthy, strong, and full of life. Looking back at the past 18 months, I can safely say these choices have fallen out about 50/50. I can do better than this.
It was about that time that the "day job" I took as head of household began. As head of my house, I feel strongly that it is my obligation to make sure needs are met. At the time, this simply wasn't happening. I thought that a job which took place on my favorite shift would be a positive thing.
I did not count on walking into one of the most toxic work environments I have ever experienced. Even with trance help and medicine to assist with my biological issues, it simply will not do for me to work at that job any longer. I have stuck it out to ensure my family's needs get met, but it has drained me of energy I can ill afford to lose.
I have put on weight. For the weight itself, I could care less, but it is affecting my joints. (The rest of my health remains undamaged, for which I am grateful.) I have lost the time I needed to record.
More sadly, I have not had time or energy to connect with community. I miss that so very much.
It's time this turned around. New dawnings are important. At Samhain, I began to hunt for a new job. I have some promising leads. I am also typing this on my new iPad, a gift from a sweet obedient boy. (Yes, this makes me happy!) I have new ideas for the future of the Realm.
In the outer world, winter is beginning. In the Realm, crocuses and snowdrops are peeking through the whiteness. It's time for beginnings.
Every so often in life, I find the choices I made do not reflect the me I wish to be: healthy, strong, and full of life. Looking back at the past 18 months, I can safely say these choices have fallen out about 50/50. I can do better than this.
It was about that time that the "day job" I took as head of household began. As head of my house, I feel strongly that it is my obligation to make sure needs are met. At the time, this simply wasn't happening. I thought that a job which took place on my favorite shift would be a positive thing.
I did not count on walking into one of the most toxic work environments I have ever experienced. Even with trance help and medicine to assist with my biological issues, it simply will not do for me to work at that job any longer. I have stuck it out to ensure my family's needs get met, but it has drained me of energy I can ill afford to lose.
I have put on weight. For the weight itself, I could care less, but it is affecting my joints. (The rest of my health remains undamaged, for which I am grateful.) I have lost the time I needed to record.
More sadly, I have not had time or energy to connect with community. I miss that so very much.
It's time this turned around. New dawnings are important. At Samhain, I began to hunt for a new job. I have some promising leads. I am also typing this on my new iPad, a gift from a sweet obedient boy. (Yes, this makes me happy!) I have new ideas for the future of the Realm.
In the outer world, winter is beginning. In the Realm, crocuses and snowdrops are peeking through the whiteness. It's time for beginnings.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
I Was Going To Blog About My New Recording...
... but this came in, and I just couldn't help myself.
People ask what a "do-me" submissive is. Friends, I bring you: Random Messenger.
Friday night on the way somewhere with my Jukebox, I got this series of IMs.
People ask what a "do-me" submissive is. Friends, I bring you: Random Messenger.
Friday night on the way somewhere with my Jukebox, I got this series of IMs.
Tomorrow, I will break this down and explain what he did wrong for those who don't get it. Today, I just want to let this stand as it is... a monument to "HAHAHAHAHAHANO."(10:51:16 PM) Random Messenger: hi queen(10:51:44 PM) ladyruetha: Can't really talk right now, sweetie... but went ahead and added. :)(10:52:14 PM) Random Messenger: why cant you talk?(10:52:30 PM) ladyruetha: I'm a bit busy. :)(10:53:13 PM) Random Messenger: with phone sex calls eh?(10:53:56 PM) Random Messenger: i saw your profile on (Website Redacted).......(10:54:15 PM) Random Messenger: all women on there have their own websites, and most have "phone sex" listings with Niteflirt as well........thats why i ask(11:00:46 PM) ladyruetha: Actually, not tonight... but perhaps soon.(11:01:13 PM) Random Messenger: well count me out(11:01:27 PM) Random Messenger: i'm definitely not into paying 2 bucks a minute to talk to someone..lol(11:01:28 PM) Random Messenger: no offense(11:06:31 PM) Random Messenger: but i would like very much to be hypnotized by you(11:06:36 PM) Random Messenger: let me put my cam on for you..hang on(11:07:26 PM) ladyruetha: I don't use cam.(11:07:32 PM) ladyruetha: And I did say I'm busy?(11:10:23 PM) Random Messenger: well i'm sorry, but your going to need to get a cam,(11:10:32 PM) Random Messenger: and unfortunately, i must insist you ignore the other "loser" and talk to me(11:12:40 PM) ladyruetha: The other "loser" is in the room with me and giggling like a loon right now. Maybe he'll write someone like you into one of his stories.(11:13:55 PM) Random Messenger: well the only reason he is there, and i'm not........is because you dont "know me" :)(11:14:32 PM) Random Messenger: he is a pathetic loser, and i am twice the man he will ever be........furthermore, you would "pick" me over that pathetic worm of a man i guarentee.....its just that you dont "know me"(11:15:15 PM) Random Messenger: he is the lowest form of a weak, pathetic, helpless male i have ever come across........he is more pathetic than a puppy dog(11:15:23 PM) ladyruetha: LOLOLOLOL -Do tell.(11:16:13 PM) Random Messenger: tell me, when you see him naked, do you "laugh" at how small of a penis he has? does it remind you of a "vienna sausage"?(11:16:58 PM) ladyruetha: Hee. You are so very funny. I have to go, but do feel free to keep talking. I'll read it tomorrow.(11:18:29 PM) Random Messenger: ok sweety, talk to you then
Sunday, January 8, 2012
My Latest Float Session
I had a fantastic massage and float tank session last week, sponsored by one of my Chosen. This was the best session I've yet enjoyed, confirming my suspicion that the more you do them, the more you get out of them.
I started out without any plans for meditation. While I'm currently meditating on Air in my spiritual life, I decided to simply let my Deep Self guide my experience this time. One of the themes I've been exploring these last few months is trusting my Deep Self to tell me its needs and, by extension, my needs.
So I showered, got into the warm water, and floated. "OK, Deep Self, what do we need to experience today?"
Almost immediately I was flooded with a sense of love and compassion for my deepest self and my body. It was so sudden and unexpected that I found myself holding my breath for a moment. As I exhaled the surprise and tension left my body and I floated in multiple senses.
It is no shock to hear that fat people have body issues. What was still new and unexpected was the sense that I was listening to my own voice. "Gods, you are beautiful. Look at what your body has done!" This was followed by a list of the amazing things my body does, did, and will do. While (as many of you know) I advocate body love and incorporate it into my recordings, this was not the same words I have previously recorded, either for others or for my own private use.
The words were accompanied by a sense of being held and loved. Float tanks are supposed to recreate the womb, but this was not maternal. Neither was it sexual. It simply was, and I have no idea how long it lasted.
I kept this sense of love all week, which was rather important as a GI bug hit me Wednesday. All through that time, I kept talking to my body with that sense of love and compassion as I tranced as much as I could and cheered my T-cells on.
Isn't trance an amazing thing?
I started out without any plans for meditation. While I'm currently meditating on Air in my spiritual life, I decided to simply let my Deep Self guide my experience this time. One of the themes I've been exploring these last few months is trusting my Deep Self to tell me its needs and, by extension, my needs.
So I showered, got into the warm water, and floated. "OK, Deep Self, what do we need to experience today?"
Almost immediately I was flooded with a sense of love and compassion for my deepest self and my body. It was so sudden and unexpected that I found myself holding my breath for a moment. As I exhaled the surprise and tension left my body and I floated in multiple senses.
It is no shock to hear that fat people have body issues. What was still new and unexpected was the sense that I was listening to my own voice. "Gods, you are beautiful. Look at what your body has done!" This was followed by a list of the amazing things my body does, did, and will do. While (as many of you know) I advocate body love and incorporate it into my recordings, this was not the same words I have previously recorded, either for others or for my own private use.
The words were accompanied by a sense of being held and loved. Float tanks are supposed to recreate the womb, but this was not maternal. Neither was it sexual. It simply was, and I have no idea how long it lasted.
I kept this sense of love all week, which was rather important as a GI bug hit me Wednesday. All through that time, I kept talking to my body with that sense of love and compassion as I tranced as much as I could and cheered my T-cells on.
Isn't trance an amazing thing?
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