Tuesday, November 9, 2010

How To Attract A HypnoDomme: Part One - Why This Series?

I saw a post on a hypnosis website and it made me pause. It was similar to one I've seen a hundred times before, probably more than that, which is why I don't name the site or the poster. It was similar to any number of instant messages and private mails I've received on various sites. It made me sigh, because I worry that its writer will never find what zie seeks in the world of erotic hypnosis. I've seen it in regular D/s groups too, but since I do EH I'm going to confine myself to commenting on this aspect alone.

The post was by a male, and it said simply "Seeking Female hypnotist to program me to be a slave."

A Domme had responded in a way I myself have so many times. She was polite and concise. She simply asked "What do you have to offer a Domme?"

This is a legitimate question. Whether it's fair or not, the fact is that there are more cis het males seeking hypnosis on either side of the watch than cis het (and MANY more than cis bi!) women to partner them. If you completely exclude trans women as viable partners, as many of these men do, the pool gets smaller still. If I had one hundred hours in the day, I still couldn't hypnotize everyone I wish I could. I can deplore the reality of it all day long, but it is how it is. (I do my best to change it by being open to females who are interested and encouraging them, but at the end of the day the imbalance remains.)

The original poster responded to the Domme with the following sentence, verbatim: "ill surrender completely and be ur slave"

That's it. Nothing else. And it made me depressed for him, because I don't think he gets it.

Although I am a pro, I am going to take money and professional Dommes out of the equation in this series of posts. I can still easily speak to the lifestyle aspect of things, as my Chosen and pets know. But of the lifestyle-only Dommes I know, none of them would be really interested in this guy. I'm sure he has no idea what he's doing wrong. I also bet that he COULD be trained, with time, to at least be a passable sub.

I've said repeatedly that one of my goals in the fetish is to help people find partners when possible. I stick by that. To that end, I'm going to post a series of blog entries on my opinion of how to attract a hypnoDomme.

It should be emphasized that these posts are my opinion, and I welcome polite comments, additions, and dissent! Some things which I view as critical are far less important to others. Nevertheless, there are certain patterns which do tend to obstruct people in finding partners. I want to address these.

It should also be said that while some of these tips and recommendations will apply also to finding male Doms, others will not.

I write from the cis woman perspective. I especially welcome feedback by trans women.

We'll start with tomorrow's post: The First Impression.

1 comment:

  1. I think this is true and a lot of guys can be really weird about this stuff, but I think he has given her too much power already. A lot of women who take power straight away can get bored easily.