Ten Things I've Wanted To Say To Ten Different People

I assigned my pets and Chosen this one... might as well jump in myself!

1. Hell froze over when you apologized. I'm so glad you did. The healing isn't perfect, but it's a damn sight better than it was. Thank you for owning your mistakes. I own mine too: I saw you as idealized, and I kept hoping you would find comfort and peace in us. We were too different. Namaste.
2. A part of me is missing tonight and every night until we are together in physical space again. I worry I am not strong enough to be ethical every time we part. I love you.
3. You have no idea how much I want you... but there's that lesbian sheep thing. I am trying to overcome my paralysis. I love you.
4. I keep thinking someday you're going to grow away from me and leave. I can't tell whether that's common sense or abandonment issues talking! I love you.
5. I love you and your rage scares me. Please get help.
6. You are so strong. Own your strength. I love you.
7. To multiple people: I miss howling together. I miss the Parkway under the full moon. I miss the time when the world was so simple that what happened online seemed to matter. I hope those memories make you happy as they do me. I love you all!
8. I don't even know if you're alive, but you imprinted me and shaped me. I don't know if I feel joy in what we experienced or pity for what followed. 26 years later, a full quarter of a century, and I can still see your eyes and smell your scent. I hope you are well. I fear you aren't.
9. I am utterly and completely shattered on a primal level by your loss. I hope you would be proud of me. I still cry thinking of you. I hope you are resting in peace. I fear that my grief prohibits that. The world is darker and less safe.
10. Please forgive yourself. You are not perfect. You are a good person who has sometimes made less than ideal choices. You are talented and creative no matter what your inner tape recordings tell you. You are worthy of being loved. Please let go of the energy of the memories that make you cry out aloud like a whiplash. Failing that, get yourself beaten so you can do penance and be done, OK? I love you, even when you can't accept it.

Fallow Times Happen...

It feels like I'm waiting on a lot right now. Waiting on holding some of my Chosen again. Waiting to find the words to describe NEEHU2's Saturday, Sunday, and Monday... especially the collaring ceremony. Waiting on my Dommespace.

Domme/sub energy is like all energy: It ebbs and flows and swirls. Sometimes it's so powerfully strong that it feels like primal fire. Sometimes it's so far receded that the rocky and sandy bottoms of life are painfully visible.

At NEEHU2 I could feel it so very powerfully, and since then the tide has mostly been in. This week and weekend I see the seabed grasses, despite the waters being wind-whipped into froth.

It is almost Dark Moon, and I feel the urge to curl into myself. I have never been one who finds true power in darkness. I find it in light and illumination and revelation. And so I curl into myself, and I wait for the words to flow again.

They will. Ebb and flow and swirl and change itself is the one constant. I silence myself and wait for their return.

NEEHU Thoughts and Memories, Part Two

Once again, a reminder that these are memories and impressions that may not seem to make sense to people used to following things as a blow-by-blow description, but they're My thoughts and memories and this feels right.

Friday morning, waking between my loves, asking Copper, "Did you sleep?" and being relieved to hear him say, "Yes." He does not always sleep easily in strange places. Didn't ask Jukebox that--I knew the answer. Hearing the sounds of Glacilux and Lyinar going out of the room to get breakfast, and I know it's time for me to get my shower. But the Mythbusters couldn't drag Me out of bed between My consorts with a C4 explosion.

Eventually, we all have to get up and get ready to go to the con hotel. I am the last one out of bed. The shower feels wonderful. Lyinar does not feel so happy, as he realizes that he is the "shuttle" taking us between hotels (after driving sixteen hours the previous day.) Copper and Lyinar and I are the first to go over, and we check in. Copper and I go up to a room that can only be described as "sumptuous". After a moment of wandering around, exclaiming, I realize that this might be My last time alone with him all weekend. I have never been good at resisting temptation, and at this moment I throw Myself into it headfirst. Funny, those moans didn't sound like they were complaints.

Others arrive, and it is time to pick up Twinklie at the airport. Lyinar, Sleepykitten and I make the drive. She is travel-stressed and ravenous; the first duty of a Dominant is to ensure the well-being of a submissive. We take care of her hunger, and immediately her mood perks up.

Back at the hotel room, I try on various wonderful lingerie, gifts from My Wish List and from pets and admirers. Jukebox once again falls victim to My hypnotic breasts. Oh darn. Funny, those sighs didn't sound like complaints. (Mental note: Must remember to get more lingerie that shows My breasts. I am more used to boy-shorts than g-strings and I think that I will go back to them in the future, but some of the lingerie was really nice. It felt good on My skin.) I feel Myself sliding more and more into Dommespace, and it feels wonderful.

I know I'm forgetting things from in here, but My memories are all sense, and so I find it hard to explain the swirling dance of sense-memories that I experience when I try to put it into words. There is Lyinar, finally getting to rest his swollen legs after obeying Me so well, shuttling people from one hotel to the other. There is Reth expounding on the glories of techno music (yet again.) There is Glacilux moving around the kitchen with glorious surety, not My pet but a treasured friend. There is Twinklie shedding the travel-weariness and being admired by every eye. There is Sleepykitten being petted. There are cheesy forensic shows on the television. There is the touch of Copper, and of Sleepyhead, and up close as I hug them, the unique, familiar and intoxicating sense of My loves. There is Jukebox, typing on the computer as always, because he can no more stop writing than stop breathing, even if it is only to comment on a blog post somewhere. And all of this is mixing, combining, rich and full and full of life.

And then it is time to go to the Society. We go downstairs and Sleepyhead and I get a ride with a kind gentleman and his lady (who I soon find that I have known for years on the MC Forums.) Along the way, I call Wiseguy and find that he and Dani are there, having dinner with a mutual dear friend and will be at the Society as soon as they can. The Society is a wonderful place, and if you are in New England, I urge you to take advantage of its hospitality. It is clean, appropriately lit, and comfortable. If I was in Connecticut, I would have immediately bought a membership. As it is, I am considering ways to support them long-distance, because a place such as the Society is a community treasure.

After signing in, I find Myself already giving hugs. Before long, it becomes clear to Me that this really is like a party with one hundred of My favorite people in the world. At My wedding in "real life", I did not have as many people that I was genuinely and thoroughly happy to see. Old friends, and those I had never previously met, were everywhere. I hypnotized Sleepykitten and sent her to enjoy her role as a hypnotized servant girl. One of the delights of the evening is whispering, "Deeper and deeper," to her every time I see her and watching her trance deeper. In her kitty ears and her play collar, she looks adorable. (We need to find her an appropriate tail.)

And then Vassal is there, and I hug him and run My fingers through his curls, so happy to see him. He also will be staying with us. If the room at the hotel was a sensationary swirl, this is a tidal wave. Electric candles, chocolate on every table, delicious food, laughter and conversation, colors, and the warmth of camaraderie and hugs, skin and fabric. I introduce the stage show, and I expect to go up on stage...but there are so many good subjects to go up that instead I watch. Copper is by My side and I wonder how he is doing, as in North MOFN, there are never this many people in one place, and no more than ten times this many people in the entire town.

The stage show is funny and respectful. I know almost everyone on stage, and I delight in their creativity and hypnotizability. Then the "Hypnosis Slam" starts, when people can just get up in front of the crowd and show off their abilities as either a subject or a hypnotist. I am quickly tranced by Wiseguy, turned around and given a post-hypnotic to hug a beautiful (and willing) friend and that I will be stuck to her. Oh darn. Funny, those giggles don't sound like complaints from Me. As it happens, because I am short, I am at exactly the right height to appreciate her corset. Did I mention "Oh darn"?

It is going to be an early morning, and a long day the next day. I go back to the hotel earlier than I would have liked, but bloodshot eyes are less hypnotic than well-rested ones. Once again, I drift to sleep between My loves, in bliss.

Whew, what a week or so...

Fetish Fair Flea Market came faster and with even more fun than I expected. Some of the highlights:

* Hanging out with Wiseguy and Dani again. Good friends are sometimes hard to find... I am lucky beyond belief to count these awesome people among mine.
* The tranquilizer dart. Hee.
* People who came out at 9am (!) to hear me give my hypnosis 101.
* People who then stopped by the NEHG table and got hypnotized.
* The Saturday Night Hypnoparty. Good grief, that was fun.
* The room induction on Sunday morning.
* Recording the next podcast with Doctor Slashblight.
* Fucking with Copper and Jukebox's heads ALL WEEKEND LONG. (YAY!)
* Making play dates for NEEHU.
* Vampire play with a lovely, adorable, snuggleable, sexy woman.
* The hot tub on Sunday night.
* People playing with the light and sound machines.
* The way people loved my sparkly glitter toy balls. Best. Pervertables. Ever.

Once again, I made so many new friends. I find my attention turning now rather firmly to NEEHU, but over the next couple of days I will be elaborating on the list above. I have to edit that podcast, though, and get it posted!

Sunday night's NYC class recap

Video editing is a work in progress, so I'm taking a break to write up Sunday night's Roleplay and Hypnosis class in New York City.

Of all of the classes I've taught lately, this one seemed to have the best reception. For one thing, I didn't need to do hypno 101. I love doing that, but it was so refreshing to get to the fun stuff instead of explaining what hypnosis is and how to do a basic induction. Instead, I could talk about specific safety concerns, safewords, and how to set up the scenes. It was fantastic, and there were really good questions asked. Some of this I went through on the podcast a few years back, but it's worth revisiting.

But one thing I didn't do on the podcast that I could do in the class was demo concrete examples of scenes. I was lucky enough to have two demo bottoms, one of whom is a regular of mine and the other of whom I'd never hypnotized before. The former I simply demoed scene setup, not playing out the scene at all. The latter we went a little distance into the scene, to the deep appreciation of the watching audience. Because I'd never worked with her before, I also installed safewords and some other basic safety guidelines. (Since I was staying with her and her significant other, I had the fun later that night of hearing the suggestions for the "yes, more please!" safeword take effect posthypnotically... through the wall. I went to sleep rather joyfully, if not without a giggle. ;) )

Afterwards, a bunch of us went to McDonalds (it being the closest place to hang out and just talk for a while) and talked trance. So much fun! I felt really fantastic.

I had the honor of meeting some fantastic new friends, connecting happily with longerterm ones, and got to talk about my favorite thing to do with hypnosis. What wasn't to love? I can't wait to get back to The City and play some more.

"Sex Robot": Me on TV!

Yes, I was on Discovery Health for the documentary "Sex Robot." I am in the process of editing the video to snip out the parts I filmed so I can post them on my website. I'm learning to use a video editor in order to do it, so the process is slow. I want to be sure to get it right.

(Incidentally, and worth its own paragraph by far: A HUGE thanks to Bri_chan for helping obtain the video! I owe you, sweetie... expect me to pay up. ;) )

This was a terrifying and exhilarating experience. On the one hand, I really wanted to get something on hypnosis for technophiliacs out there. On the other hand... being on TV. Especially on a documentary which, let's face it, was more likely to be a "wow, freaky people!" video than a "isn't this neat?!" show.

I was aware that it could provide great exposure. I am also aware that being a BBW is fine for some people, as long as they aren't confronted with the reality of me actually being big and soft. Nevertheless, I decided that it would be worth it to go on and get on film.

I look slightly different in this video than I might normally at, say, a con. Normally, I wear purple. For this filming, I elected to wear red. It pops more on camera. Don't worry, though... I'm going to keep going with the purple. In fact, within a couple of weeks I am going to dye at least some of my hair purple! I also wore makeup, because I knew better than to go on camera without it. Ah, stagecraft!

I was, of course, a bit nervous about seeing the video. Copper and I watched it together after a few other people had seen it and reassured me that they enjoyed it. To my almost total surprise and joy, I found that nothing I said had been taken out of context. The editor did a great job of getting out one of the most important points I felt I wanted to get across. Furthermore, they showed a lot more of the induction than I thought they would. Even better, the couple in the video very much came across as the loving, committed partners they are.

We were not, of course, the full focus of the program. We knew that. I was completely unsure how much we would be in the film at all. To be in as much as we were, in the way we were, makes me very happy. It's something I'm proud to be putting up on my website.

Scenes From Memories: Blankpage

This world is spinning around me
This world is spinning without me
Every day sends future to past
Every breath leaves one less to my last

Rick is gone. He lived far longer than they expected, but then he was a fighter. His family called him "Ricky." I could never do that. It diminished him more than he deserved. Small and frail in body, he was still a man. I always tried to preserve that and treat him as such.

I am going to try to communicate my memories here. I do not know how well I will succeed. One of the side effects of being kinesthetic is that my long-term memories have flashes, stills, two-second-long movies of visual, and the rest is sensation with audio bursts. But I will do my best.

Watch the sparrow falling
Gives new meaning to it all
If not today nor yet tomorrow then some other day

I'll take seven lives for one
And then my only father's son
As sure as I ever did love him
I am not afraid

Rick did everything passionately. Even when he just sat and watched, it was with intensity.

Memory:

We are in IRC together. I am still learning submission at the time, training that will serve me very well over the years. I am still finding people other than myself are into hypnosis. I am overwhelmed and awed.

He is funny, snarky, and making me laugh. He keeps me from taking it too seriously.

Eventually we end up submitting to the same Dominant. She is no longer with the scene as I recount this, but then-we love her. We submit to her with the one who will years later become my Kitty. Kitty is using the name Ru'avel (Dreamsword in some dialect of Dragon Magazine Elvish) at the time. Kitty names me Ru'etha, Dreamhealer. At last Rick picks the name Ru'iten.

He is the Dreamspinner. It fits.

Memory:

The three of us are on the phone together in a three-way conversation. We are repeating Her triggers to one another, sending each other deeper into trance in a breathing, living, organic, fluid way. It is timeless. I have learned the hard way to set an alarm.

We emerge finally, warned by that alarm. "We should get together soon. Like, real life, face to face." Rick is nervous about being judged for his appearance. We reassure him. He is our brother.

The planning for the Stupid Bowl party begins, and I call him bredu. Bredu, for brother, from one of my favorite SF book series. I will never again call anyone else by that particular name. I find over the years I have many brothers. He is my only bredu.

Memory:

Visual flash: glancing over at him sitting in my passenger seat on the way back from the airport. His hair is long and blue-black and silky. He is so tiny. I am a short woman, and he looks me in the eye. We are listening to Duran Duran, singing at the tops of our lungs as we drive down a road I travel every day. Now it's different. My bredu is with me. I've cranked the heat in the car - he's from southern California and has no body fat. When I'm sweltering, he's finally stopped shivering.

Pull me under Pull me under
Pull me under I'm not afraid
All that I feel is honor and spite
All I can do is to set it right

Memory:

Our Lady is hypnotizing us. Hypnotized Eyes, my first real submissive, is lying to my left. Ru'avel is on my right. Ru'iten is lying on top of me. He's so light I barely feel him. The slight weight is comforting. I become aware that my breathing is completely synchronized with ru'iten's and hypnotized eyes', and the world goes happily away.

Memory:

He is shy, tentative. In the last few days he has had his first kiss. But we know time is not on our side, now in specific or any time in general. It feels right. I am careful not to hurry him. We still have our socks on. This produces giggles, but it's important. And he loved being tickled, and so we are playful.

We are done, and he hypnotizes me in Spanish. I have no idea what he's saying; my command of that language is limited to what I learned as a kid watching TV. It doesn't matter. He strokes my hair and murmurs to me and I melt. It's beautiful.

Memory:

We are watching the game, cheering for both teams to lose. He says "And this is where the ball becomes sentient and flies away into the stands! Fly! Be free!" And we all crack up, because he is absolutely right.


And the moment of clarity
Faded like charity does
Sometimes
I open one eye
And I put out my hand just to touch your soft hair
To make sure in the darkness that you were still there
And I have to admit
I was just a little afraid
Yeah
But then...
I had a little bit of luck
You were awake
I couldn't take another moment alone

Memory:

"We should write something together. Only not as us, not writing with you as blankpage, you know? Let's write something in the Pleasure Cruise storyline and send it in."

"I've always wanted to use the name Fey. But I don't want to write something with a lot of sex."

"You're on, bredu. I'll write as... umm... I'll come up with something. And I don't like writing a bunch of sex scenes either. Let's start writing and see where it goes."

I end up choosing the name Sunset. The result is here. I don't co-write again with anyone for years. We agree not to let people know the story is by the two of us. I think the time for that agreement is done. People deserve to know it was him.

When your nine day feed is up
And you've drained your loving cup
Come stands reeling to the shore

Memory:

"I know what I want for my birthday. I want you to come out and visit me for a few days." Things have ended with our Lady, and I am finding my inner Dominance rising. We both know I am not the Domme for him, but we are still close. He is still my bredu. And so I book tickets, and I fly to California. We borrow his brother's car and drive around. He shows me places. We stay at a hotel, but I do meet his family. They don't understand fully why I'm there, but they're glad he's happy. He can't drive. We get lost a lot, because he knows the area so well he forgets to tell me to turn places. It is spring of 2002.

I am lying on the bed in the hotel holding him. He feels even lighter than before. I am trying to sense within him, in the way I've been taught by my faith. His back feels all wrong. The kidneys feel like two black disks sucking everything in. I am afraid, and I nuzzle his beautiful hair. He tells me he is going to the NIH in June or July, for some more of the studies they perform on him. "Going to have to update the textbooks again, I'm still not dead."

When the brave are coming out
The dry fight and the dusty shout
See you crawling on the floor

Memory, clear and distinct:

We are on the phone with Mark Reed from the Forum, and find out that he's about eight hours' drive north. "We should road trip!" I say.

Mark pauses. "I couldn't ask you to do that," he says, and his voice betrays how much he wants it.

Visual flash: I look at Rick. His eyes are bright and interested and hopeful. He has never gotten to do any of the crazy things most people take for granted. He can't. He, too, is trying not to let on how very much he wants this.

The decision is easy. "Grab your stuff, we're road tripping!" And we leave the hotel, still checked in, knowing we're paying for a night not there, and head north. We're singing in the car the whole way up.

Memory:

I am in another hotel bed, between Mark and Rick. Mark is over six feet tall and huge. Rick is smaller than I am. We all fit in one double bed. We are cuddling. I hypnotize them both, nonsexually, building the closeness. It feels good. We all cry a bit the next day when Rick and I head back south.

Memory:

Who the fuck would have thought there would be snow in California? But in the mountains north of LA, there is snow in the pass. The heater for the car is spotty, and Rick doesn't have a coat. I give him my jean jacket and he curls his whole body underneath it. In order to see, I have to open the window a bit every so often. We are both shivering. Traffic is moving slowly. But we make it down the other side of the mountain and see the lights of LA spread out before us, and it warms.

I have no contact information for Mark now. I wish I did. He would want to know.

And diamond stars shine glitter bright
Gorging your sanhedralite
Words are falling to the floor
Glands stand pouring fruit tree
Now they glisten on the waterline
See how you are at the shore

Memory, auditory and sensation only:

I am at work, and his mother calls me. She is frantic. He has gone to NIH, and they've told him he needs dialysis. He has left the building against medical advice. His family and the medical staff have no idea where he is. "If he calls you, please tell him to go back."

He does, and I do, and I plead with him. He finally does go back, resentful and unhappy. I know the toxins are affecting his mind. It is cold comfort.

He never says he forgives me, though I apologize.

Haul up all your petty desires
Leave it lying down before
Wash away the rusty disease
Of your brown town days in our silver sea
Leave it dying at the door

Memory:

"Rick, please don't post my real name associated with my online names on your journal! I've been stalked, and that's scary to me. Please?"

I check again twenty minutes later. The post is gone. So is our friendship. Emails go unread, fan mail sent gets no response, IMs disappear into the void. And there it rests for four years. I know he is sick, and I see him at least once fake his death. I hear he has a girlfriend. I hear it's over. The toxins affect his mind on and off. I know that is why he won't say anything to me.

He is still my bredu, whether he knows it or not.

Open out your arms and breathe
Breathe
Breathe
Breathe

He sends me an email in December. He apologizes for everything he's done to hurt me. He tells me he's on the list for a transplant. He declines my (recurrent, ongoing) offer to get tested to see if we're a match. He wishes me luck with everything.

I tell him I love him. He is my bredu.

He never writes again.

There feels like there should be more to this, more to say, more to offer you, more to remember him. And there are more scenes, more flashes, more sounds, more sensations.

But Marion Zimmer Bradley, the woman who gave me the word bredu, was wise to have her characters only offer one or two moments in her novels when they remembered the departed. I have already gone on too long for that. So I close with more of her words:

Let that memory lighten grief.

Lyrics are from "Pull Me Under" by Dream Theatre, "The Moment of Clarity" by Roger Waters, and "To the Shore" by Duran Duran.

Room trance, Saturday at FFF

OK, I did all right with the blogging but not great. Part of that was that Saturday was absolutely fantastic.

I had a private session with someone I've wanted to play with in person for years. I don't have permission to disclose any details, but I will say: Mmmmm. :) Just Mmmmm. Thank you, sweetie, for letting me play with your head. You know who you are.

It was right about the end of that session that I realized I didn't have my ID, passport, or credit cards in the room. The long and the short of it is that these things are gone, and I need to get them replaced ASAP.

But even that couldn't dampen my weekend, because things were fantastic. I'd been wearing a purplish blue flowy dress I love, but decided for the room trance I needed to "pop." It was the work of a moment to choose to wear my long, flowy red dress. Also bare feet, because I am pagan enough to like the feel of something under them that isn't sock or sole.

This room trance was a first for me. I have done "room trances" in chatrooms, of course, dozens of times. I've put all of my pets into trance, even sensual trance, at the same time frequently. I've also done large hypnotic sessions at other cons - family-friendly cons. Nothing where I would not only be welcome, but expected to bring in the erotic component.

We got to the room and discovered that the room we'd been given was, well, small. About half again the size of a normal hotel bedroom. They had lined up two lines of chairs across the back, there was a couch to one side, some easy chairs to the other, and that was just about it for seating. People were already sitting on the floor a couple of rows deep, and more were congregating in the entranceway. Mephki and DrSlashBlight (who, seriously, needs to consider a new username. Something like "BigCuteSoftyHypnoDom" or something) gave me an intro which turned me the same color as my dress, and we were off.

There's something exhilarating about trance. There's more to group trance, and holy cow erotic group trance is way up there. Hearing seventy-five percent of the people in the room gasp at a sensual trigger is *awesome.* (The other twenty-five percent? Nonparticipants/watchers and those who elected not to participate in that part... as I had told them it was optional.) As things moved on, gasps moved to moans and whimpers, also really hot. There were a few people curled up on other people there, and that was cool beyond words.

Copper was really out, and at one point I looked over and Mephki was braiding his hair! Too sweet, and knowing he was taken care of let me focus all the more on the rest of the room. And when I generalized out the sensual trigger to the Dominants of those submissives who had it... well. There were a few people grabbing the wall and gasping when I left the room, is all I'm saying. :)

Halfway through I had to bring everyone up for a stretch break, due to the crowded space. Some people had been looking seriously uncomfortable, and this relieved that. Enough people went ahead and left at that point to space out the floor a bit. Despite this, I only had about a five-foot space to walk around in.

I want to do it again! In a larger room!

Then the second night of room party... but that's another post.

It's almost midnight...

...Pacific time. I just got in from the hypno room party, which: OMG. Luscious women of every body type and shape... from slender and athletic with purple hair to a soft, yummy reddish-haired round and everything in between. Easily hypnotized subby boys, some attached and Owned, some not. My Copper going into trance for someone else, which I have wanted to see for YEARS. Copper going into trance bound by rope, which: HOT. @thezvi and The Mighty Tantra Carrot. Confusion inductions. Training pets for other people. First-time trances. Light and sound machine. Trancing two women at once. Trancing two women, Copper, and then @thezvi going along for the ride. Watching other people trance other people. Wiseguy and Dani Fantom, and watching Wiseguy get "Sir, I want to shake your hand" over "Busman's Holiday." Lots of good hypnosis talk. And a happy delicious chance to go into trance myself to cap the night.

Yeah, I'm sleepin' well. :) Good night, world. :)

Joy To The World!

Really. I mean it. "Joy To The World," the latest post from my keyboard and Jukebox's, is up on Blisstrance! This marks the first of a few little gifts I'll be posting for all of you, as thanks for your support in a year that really had more than its share of stress and strain. I appreciate you!

Tags: MC, MF, FD, Freeze

Just got back from swimming...

...and the water was warm, warm, warm from sun. And it reminded me of the hot tub at CONvergence, and the fun we had there.

It was after the Adult Hypnosis panel. One am, and I really, really wanted to soak. Jukebox had been in and out of trance all day and was completely fried. Copper was keeping an eye on an older guy who looked disturbingly like Alan Moore with totally white hair who kept asking me if I believed that aliens are hypnotically brainwashing humans. My sweet Seran was talking to people about the Virtual Hypnotist software. I got asked to speak at two different groups up in the Twin Cities area, and then people started to drift away to their rooms and parties and so on.

I informed my pets that I really wanted to soak. The hot tub at the con hotel is large and comfortable, with benches down both sides and a nice stair in. Of course I didn't want to bring any of my watches into the water, but I had a small Swarovski crystal ball that would work very well. It doesn't matter if one of those gets wet.

After a few minutes where everyone got ready, we entered the water. It was really warm, almost to the point of hot. Jukebox was so completely fried that just the idea that I might possibly maybe want him to go into trance at some point this year was enough to send him altered. (He's easy anyway. Fractionated and sleep-deprived... it's a good thing I didn't want a long, slow seduction there.) Copper has gone into hypnosis for me in hot water before, so after a moment he was very happy. Seran actually relaxed to the point that I had to put my fingers under his chin and tilt his head back up to keep him from having his face touch the water.

The best part of it was that they actually were floating in water while they floated on my voice. I love using that imagery, and even though they couldn't hear me well (there were party rooms ringing the pool area, including the Con Suite), they're so well-trained that their unconscious minds did as I wanted anyway.

The programming is pretty much private, since they're capital-M-mine, but none of them wanted to come up from hypnosis. I brought Copper up first, since he was going to be doing the driving, and then the other two a bit later. To be honest, I'm not sure if J ever really came up.

After that, of course, we were hungry. The hot tub closed at two, and we spent the last little bit cleaning up around the pool area. After all, one of the things that makes a hotel want to host a con again is a happy or at least not unhappy staff, and it wasn't fair to ask housekeeping to clean up all the cups and towels left around the pool. Then it was off to Denny's to have a late-night snack and watch MST3K.

When we finally got to bed, none of us were awake long.

Next time, I'm bringing a bigger crystal.